Taste the Rainbow
by heteroceric-heart
Summary: Link/Zelda AU. It really wasn’t fair. Still, she felt a little conflicted. Yes, a part of her appreciated Link’s good looks, but the other sleep-deprived-turned-malicious part of her wished he would suddenly gain about two hundred pounds.


(A/N: Just for the record, I do not claim to own Skittles or their trademarked saying, "Taste the Rainbow;" same goes for the characters Link and Zelda.)

**repletion** \rih-PLEE-shun\

_noun_:  
**1.** The condition of being completely filled or supplied.  
**2.** Excessive fullness, as from overeating.

* * *

**Taste the Rainbow**

_Using the nutritional information on a package of processed food,_

Crunch.

_make an order of magnitude estimate of the amount of chemical energy stored in one atom of food in units of joules._

Crunch. Crunch.

_Assume that a typical atom has a mass of 10 -26 kg; this constitutes as a rough estimate of the amount of energy there is on the atomic…_

Zelda took a moment to look up from her nauseating physics textbook and frown at her boyfriend.

It really wasn't fair.

Still, she felt a little conflicted. Yes, a part of her appreciated Link's good looks, but the other sleep-deprived-turned-malicious part of her wished he would suddenly gain about two hundred pounds.

Not to say that Zelda wasn't proud of her own physical appearance; with the risk of sounding vain, she thought she was in very good shape.

She worked diligently to keep both her body and mind fit. Her studies were extremely important to her, but she also felt it was essential to keep one's body in prime shape. It was really a good thing she could multitask, because sometimes she would take a textbook or piece of required reading with her to the gym. She always felt completely satisfied after exiting the gym, too. Not only had she studied up a bit, but she'd also worked out. It was a good deal, really, even though sometimes she wished she could just curl up on her couch, snacking on a quart of ice cream while she read.

That was the thing, though: Zelda _worked _for her body.

She had made sacrifices to look like she did. She'd sweated buckets for the body she had now, and she watched what she ate very carefully. If she absolutely had to eat something between meals, she'd grab an apple (even though she wanted a slice of apple pie) or a bag of carrots (even though she craved cookies).

Link, on the other hand, ate what he wanted when he wanted.

It was sickening (and a little bit astounding) that Link looked like he did, really.

Zelda couldn't count the number of times she'd seen him bring a bag of chips, a box of cookies, or a bag of candy to study sessions. He usually ate the entirety of his snack, too; he practically _inhaled_ the junk food.

Setting her chin on her hand, Zelda wondered suspiciously if Link's body was built differently from ordinary humans. Maybe snack food _was_ his equivalent of oxygen, and if he didn't consume a great amount then his body would cease to function.

Really, that was about the only explanation Zelda could come up with to bridge Link's incorrigible eating habits and his slim physique.

Her eyes traveled to Link's current snack of choice: Skittles. He had a large bag open in front of him, and every so often he took out a handful of candy and tossed it in his mouth. His teeth worked diligently on demolishing the crunchy sweet while his eyes scanned his history textbook boredly. Zelda, meanwhile, watched his jaw move up and down almost hypnotically; her stare soon evolved into a glare.

She wondered if Link was even _enjoying_ his candy. It certainly didn't seem like he was. He was, first of all, _chewing_ the Skittles. Whenever Zelda allowed herself to eat a piece of candy, she sucked on it and savored every second of its consumption. Link, however, was just crunching away carelessly, not giving any thought to the flavor or texture of the treat.

Suddenly the sound of crunching stopped, and Zelda snapped out of her trance to look at Link. The blonde-haired boy was looking confused and just a tad bit frightened. "Zelda?" he asked hesitantly. "Everything all right?"

Zelda realized at this point that she had been glaring quite fiercely at Link for a good few minutes, and she quickly altered her expression. "Hmm, what? Yes, I'm fine."

Link didn't seem to believe her. He swallowed his mouthful of candy and, in a rare gesture, turned the bag of Skittles toward her. "Want some?" he asked.

Zelda's lips formed an automatic "no" before she even thought about it, and she quickly snapped her mouth shut. A strange sort of righteous anger born of boredom and tiredness bubbled within her. It wasn't fair! How come Link could eat in such a wanton manner and still retain a constant, trim figure? It was madness! It was something against nature, and somehow Zelda had to rectify the imbalance!

So, instead of denying Link's offer, she replied with a challenge. "I bet I can fit more in my mouth than you."

Link's eyebrows raised in surprise. "Wait, what?"

"You heard me," she reiterated. "I am telling you right now that I can fit more Skittles in my mouth than you can."

Link's mouth quirked up into a smile. "So, Zelda, you are willing to admit here and now that you have a bigger mouth than me? Can we get that on tape, or…?"

Zelda laughed but didn't allow herself to get distracted. "Haha. You are hilarious, sir. Now, I'm actually being serious. I challenge you, Link, to fit more Skittles in your mouth than me."

The word "challenge" triggered something within Link, and he began counting out the rainbow-colored candy on the table. Zelda smirked. She knew Link could never back down from an outright challenge. Now she would get her chance for revenge, or whatever it was her brooding thoughts had mutated into.

After a few minutes of sorting, Link said, "Alright. Each pile has twenty Skittles in it, so don't try to slight me. I'm watching you. Ready?"

Zelda, in answer, scooped up the pile nearest her and promptly popped the candy into her mouth.

Link laughed. "Okay, that's twenty for you and," he, too, gathered up the pile closest to him, "twenty for me!"

Zelda immediately ate another two piles, and Link grabbed up two as well. By now, Zelda's cheeks were starting to stretch uncomfortably, but she would not be beaten! All pretense of counting had been quickly forgotten as both Zelda and Link scrambled for any remaining Skittles on the table. Zelda spied a purple one next to Link and dived across the table in order to snatch it up. Link, likewise, stretched his long arms down the table and caught an orange one that had skittered away in the confusion.

Soon, there was not a Skittle to be found.

With a triumphant air about him, Link put his hands behind his head and leaned back in his chair, his cheeks stuffed with candy.

Oh no. Oh no he did not, Zelda thought to herself furiously. He really thought he'd won somehow when it was obvious she had taken in more Skittles! Zelda, who could not speak at the moment, just closed her eyes, shook her head, and pointed to herself victoriously with both index fingers.

When she opened her eyes again, Link was shaking his head with mock-sadness. He put a consoling hand on her shoulder and shrugged, as if to say, "You poor delusional child. It was I who won, clearly."

"Mnh un. Naih dodally uhn. (Nuh uh. I totally won),"Zelda protested around her mouthful of Skittles.

"Noh reary? (Oh really?)" Link said cockily—well, as cockily as one _could_ say something with a mouthful of Skittles obstructing their speech and bulging their cheeks comically—as he lifted an eyebrow in challenge.

Suddenly, the ridiculousness of their situation fed on Zelda's tired mind, and she began shaking with silent laughter. Link, too, seemed unable to keep his cool composure any longer and let out a crack of loud, albeit muffled-by-candy, laughter.

Zelda fanned herself with one hand. "Nand…nand breade! (Can't…can't breathe!)" she gasped out around the Skittles and mirth. Slowly, she began chewing the candy in order to clear her mouth.

Link was still caught up in laughter, and he held his sides as tears of hilarity gathered in his eyes.

By the time Zelda had swallowed a good deal of her Skittles, Link had followed suit and was chewing his own portion. A minute or two passed in this manner: silence only broken by crunching and the occasional spurt of laughter.

Finally, the last Skittle slid down Zelda's throat, and she moved her jaw in relief. Link finished a few seconds later, and he ran a hand over his mouth. "Well," he began, "that was certainly interesting."

"Yeah," Zelda said airily, "it was pretty interesting how I completely wiped the floor with you."

Link scrunched his face into an expression of mock-confusion. "No, no, it was interesting how I totally ate at least twice as many as you."

"Uh huh," Zelda said skeptically, crossing her arms. "Was that before or after I completely annihilated you?"

With a sigh, Link slapped his hands decisively on the table and stood up. "Alright, this isn't getting anywhere. There's only one way to settle this."

"Oh? And how's that?" Zelda asked, her mouth twitching into an amused smile despite her best efforts. She watched as Link walked around the table purposefully to where she sat. He rested a hand on the back of her chair and paused for a moment. Just as Zelda was about to make another comment, he lifted his other hand to cup her face, bent down, and kissed her soundly.

When the kiss broke, Zelda touched her nose to his and lifted an eyebrow curiously. "What were you doing, now?"

He smiled and leaned in again, muttering against her lips, "Tasting the rainbow." He crushed his lips to hers once again, and she entangled her hand within his hair, pulling him closer. "And you," he whispered in between kisses, "don't have near the level that I do. Therefore, I ate more Skittles. So, I win."

"Is that so?" Zelda queried, nuzzling his cheek and trailing kisses down his jawline. She stopped tantalizingly close to his mouth and mumbled, "I'll just check for myself, thanks." Her fingers tightened in his hair as her mouth met his again…and again.

"Nope, sorry," she said teasingly, pulling back. "I'm afraid your rainbow pales in comparison to mine, sir."

"Well," Link countered thoughtfully, "that's probably only because you sucked some of my rainbow's essence away, you sneaky little Skittle-vampire."

"Oh, I did?" Zelda said innocently, looking up at Link from beneath her eyelashes.

"Don't act all innocent, you sly vixen. I won't stand for it, you know," Link said mock-seriously, his eyes glittering with delight at their banter.

"Yeah, and what are you going to do about it?" Zelda asked mischievously.

Link just grinned and gathered her in his arms again.

Zelda may have been strangely angry with Link considering the inequity of his food intake and physique, but now, as she let her hands trail along his well-muscled form, she was very glad he was impervious to junk food. Very glad indeed.


End file.
